Klondike Derby 2009

The older boys and I attended the Klondike Derby this weekend at Camp Stigwandish near Painesville, OH. On Friday, temperatures were near 40F and snow had begun to melt off of paved surfaces creating a wet, slushy mix of mud and ice. The forecast for the evening predicted another cold front and a drop to the teens in temperature, and perhaps a bit of snow. Very typical weather for NE Ohio in January. Jacob did pretty well packing his bag, but Joseph had trouble figuring out that he couldn't be deeply engrossed in reading a book and pack at the same time. We picked up Garn Smith, our brave scout leader who made the arrangements, grabbed a couple bundles of firewood from Home Depot, then headed up in the dark to camp.

The boys put together a fine menu of soup and bread for dinner and chocolate chip cookies. Joseph also wanted Klondike bars, but he got out-voted when were at the store. It ended up getting down to about 7 degrees F or so that night. I was quite uncomfortable and my toes got frosty. I neglected to bring a sleeping pad, so my body spent much of the night trying to warm the frozen platform underneath our tent. We shoveled 12 inches of wet snow off the platforms before we were able to set up the tents. Joseph was in tears at the beginning of the night because he had trouble getting his sleeping bag out of the duffle bag. He then co-opted Jacob's sleeping pad and went to sleep. He also had my pillow that I forgot to grab from the backpack.

We camped with boys from Kirtland and Perry Wards. They had constructed a couple of snow forts and were discussing God's time, geologic time, Adam & Eve and how to fit all of this together in a coherent story in between snow fights and wrestling matches. I was very tempted to join the discussion (and the wrestling), but I decided that these ideas were best to come to gradually and on one's own. I overheard quite a bit about Mayans, Aztecs, and other peoples of the Americas from boys throughout the day. There were even discussions of astronomy, chemistry and logic. Again, interspersed with sledding, fire making and food. Many of the ideas were still new and not exactly to current scientific understanding (for example, Mayan society being destroyed by Aztecs 10,000 years ago) but it was nice to hear the banter.

We planned a breakfast of eggs, sausage, hasbrowns and chocolate chip cookies, but the camp ended up feeding everyone French toast and bacon in the dining hall, which turned out to be a nice warm respite to prepare us for a day in the cold. Another fine spot to visit was the First Aid/Warming cabin. It was very toasty in there, with a couple of EMTs in short-sleeves handing out hand warmers. Out in front of that cabin was a huge pot of hot soup consisting of a mixture of ramen noodles and cans of vegetable soups--watery and warm and oh, so nice to hold a cup full of that soup.
During the day, Garn, the boys and I went to various stations to try some activities and answer first aid and nature ID questions. Jacob and Joseph are still pretty inexperienced in first aid skills and nature ID questions, but we had a good time learning together. The boys got to throw tomahawks and atlatls, make fire, toss tethered tennis balls, make bullets and fire black powder rifles. I was very jealous and missed being a boy. We did not stay for the Klondike sled relay. We were cold and definitely out of league for the competition. And we didn't have a sled. Besides, we had just finished the shooting range, and what could be more fun than that?

Lunch was our low point. The food was fantastic--grilled Italian sandwiches, frozen strawberries and chocolate chip cookies-- but it was very cold, sunny and the wind was biting. Any uncovered bit of skin, particluarly fingers preparing the food became super-chilled in seconds. (The one time when the prayer phrase, "Bless the hands that prepared this food" is appropriate.) Jacob was crying from the pain of cold hands, and I had to pull his hands near the fire to warm them up. He was too cold and hurting to move himself or pull his gloves on. We got him warmed back up. After we got home, a couple of unused packets of handwarmers from the First Aid station fell out of Jacob's pocket. I asked him why he didn't use them at camp. He said that he was too cold to get them out.

We made it home safely after participating in an official scouting event. Overall, it was worth the trip. We managed our minor crises, played some games, and got to observed how other boys interact. Throughout the experience, I kept thinking, "How did our ancestors do this? How did they manage the cold without all the gear and technology we have today? Why would anyone think that living in this area or others like it during the winter was a good idea? I am grateful for them, and I am grateful that I am not them.

The Great Goat/Horse Debate Part 1

Which is better the Horse or the goat. Or maybe the water buffalo (go away from me you creep). Never mind the water buffalo. That was from the telephone answering robot. Oh you haven't heard about the telephone answering robot. Well that's a different story. Let us begin.



Each person will give their opinion of which is better. I will begin.



Jacob- Goats are intelligent, useful, and economical. See they can be raised almost any ware. They produce milk, o be made into cheese, ice cream, and more. They eat scrubs and take up little space. they are just much better than horses in everywhere but Mongolia.



Joseph- Horses are fat, ugly, relatively useless especially in today's society, and expensive. Goats on the other hand smart, intelligent useful and not to expensive. (Joseph is an absolute "genius" and lists some adjectives twice).



Lilian- Horses. (to busy to say anything else)



Abby (baby)- More Goats. (then lilian hit her and said say horses. Abby said horses under pressure. That will not be counted due to corruption)



More to follow later.

Next. Its your turn to vote. There will be a poll set up soon to see wehich people like more horses, or goats. Vote toda.

Bills family letter 2008

From the editor: Jacob volunteered to write the family letter. His siblings felt misrepresented, so their comments are included, too. TB

I look outside and see that snow barely covers the iced car tracks on the driveway. Our dining room chandelier is finally bright after weeks of illumination from only three 40W bulbs. What does this have to do with anything in this family this past year? I am not sure, but we have been pretty busy. This is Jacob acting as the Bills family correspondent. Let us begin with events for the whole family. My mom’s notes say that the family is “optimistic and hopeful for the future.” Now I’ll write more in-depth information on the people of this family.

I did this too. JosB

They are not lame, they are not all flash, and I would make them if I could AND keep the money. JosB

Don’t read it. Instead read one of his other blogs such as the Vladstar epic. JosB

Not true. He is dumb. LB

First, let’s have news about the most interesting person—me. I am thirteen and in the eighth grade. The teenage years haven’t been too bad so far. I am now taller than my mom and will soon overtake my dad. Every school day, I walk about 3.75 miles round trip to school. That’s five days a week, four weeks a month, nine months a year through rain, snow, hail or shine—occasionally all at the same time. I competed in a series of creative writing events called Power of the Pen, and I made it all the way to the state tournament. That is one reason I am writing this letter. I had a bad season on the city swim team. I also ran the ½ mile and mile events for my school’s track team, but I never won any races. I hope next year is better. I continue to play the French horn, and I have been selected to be part of the District Middle School Honor Band & Orchestra Festival. I also ghostwrite the Wyrm News for the Mysterious Mythos Wyrm, Lord of New Sweden (www.thewyrmnews.blogspot.com). At scout camp, I think I was youngest person to earn the Lifesaving merit badge. Another thing I did was Summer Stretch a 2-week daily class in which I learned about city planning and built a city in Sim City 3000. My interests are varied right now, and I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, though I am thinking about politics, diplomacy, linguistics or used cars (just kidding about the last one). I have been learning French and am trying to figure out a way to learn some cool language like Swedish or Russian—or one of the Khoisan click languages. That’s enough about me; it is time to learn about the other people.

Joseph is now twelve and ordained to the office of Deacon. He is in the seventh grade and is taking Algebra II and preparing for the Science Olympiad. He’s addicted to lame Internet flash games, but he won’t design one and then sell it for tons of money that would go of course all to me. He survived scout camp and earned the art merit badge. Joseph wants Nintendo to release Majora’s Mask for the Virtual Console on the Wii. Joseph loves goats. He thinks they are smart, pretty and useful. He thinks horses are worthless pieces of their deposits on the street. I think that sums up Joseph.

It actually was my purse they tried to eat. I think horses are elegant and smart and pretty. LB

Me too, me too! EB

I’m not a hobbit and I don’t have big feet. LB

Lillian is nine and in the fourth grade. She is learning to play the flute at school. She was also on the swim team this summer, and she was involved in the This is Kirtland musical. (I was too, but it was as a replacement for closing night.) Lillian really likes Harry Potter, and she even calls herself Ginny. “Ginny” was a chorus member for the Heights High School production of West Side Story, too. (Don’t ask me why they wanted elementary school kids in a high school production.) She also has been growing; in fact she has big feet, like a hobbit. Lillian doesn’t like goats. She thinks they are stupid, ugly and useless. This is because they tried to eat “her” stroller (it’s actually used by Abby now) at the Portage County Fair.

I love history. I love art, and I love Lord of the Rings. EB

Emma is seven and was home/internet-schooled this year. Her school is much better than mine, as she learned about cool stuff like Vikings this year. She studied Egyptians last spring so we took a field trip to the Field Museum in Chicago to see the mummies. Emma really likes history. She is also taking French at her school. She has been learning to ice skate, and I think she is okay. She still acts horribly in the car—screaming until she gets her way. She won’t let any of us listen to the radio, so I have missed out on NPR news. I have to rely on Yahoo! News and Wikipedia for information. Emma was in This is Kirtland, and even though she had no important role, she did get to do the children’s dance.

Sam will be five in two weeks. He goes to preschool in the afternoon, and sometimes his carpool mom picks me up on the way home from school, too. He was in This Is Kirtland as the cute little boy who stands in the front and waves a handkerchief in his sisters’ faces in the last scene. Sam

I can’t wait until Christmas. SB

says someday he wants to make caramels. But currently he is in an ice-skating class like Emma. He likes to cook, and frequently takes over when it’s my turn to cook. Sam does a lot of workbooks. But usually he complains about not having anything to do, and when you suggest something, he says that he doesn’t want to do that. His nemesis is Joseph.

I don’t make any messes. It’s all Emma, Sam and Lily. JosB

Abby is evil. I’m told it’s just the terrible twos, but sometimes I think she uses her cuteness to get away with murder. For example, she likes to wear underpants but refuses to be potty-trained, and we suffer the consequences. She changes her clothes at least five times a day, and we say it is self-expression. She eats pistachios and scatters the shells on the floor, and we call it composting. She makes more messes than anybody in the house, including Joseph. But I am always the one who cleans it up, since I am the only one who does any work. She acts all innocent when she does something bad, even when it was obviously her fault. Like after Halloween, her candy was all gone, so she snuck in and ate Lily’s candy, too. (It was pretty funny.) Every once in a while, she actually is innocent but she says, “I did it,” out of habit. Abby was not in This Is Kirtland, and she thinks goats are better than horses.

I like goats. AB

Rebecca is getting older. She did the costumes for two plays: This Is Kirtland and Music Man. She didn’t work for H&R Block—just for us. Over Spring Break, she went to Boston with Tom and got to escape us kids for few days. At church, she teaches Relief Society every fourth Sunday and works with the 8-11 year old girls on Tuesday nights. Mom and Dad have also started to abandon their children with me and go to the gym three times every week.

It was great fun tagging along with Tom at the NSTA conference and seeing how he works an exhibit floor. I also enjoyed some time being absolutely alone and exploring the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. RB

Tom is also older. He finally painted the house this summer after gathering supplies for many years. It is now blue with white trim, not white with blue trim. One of these days, he’ll paint the front door. He was the first counselor in the bishopric until last week when he was called to the Kirtland Stake high council. He played Sidney Rigdon in This Is Kirtland, making him the only person in the family other than me with a speaking part. He ran the Junior Medical Camp for the Cleveland Museum of Natural History again. He took an Environmental Health class.

Jessie is our dog of an unknown age. She spent the past year barking at people, sleeping, eating Abby’s food and going into the front yard even though she isn’t allowed there.

I was anticipating acceptance to a PhD program at Case Western Reserve University and a promotion at work but neither opportunity materialized. TB

Ruff. JesB

Well, that’s about it for the family letter. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love, The Bills Family

From the editor: The great goat vs. horse debate continues on our family blog, www.billsohio.blogspot.com. You can also reach us for comment by e-mail: billsfamily@gmail.com. TB

I like goats.

Why horses are best.