Bills family letter 2008

From the editor: Jacob volunteered to write the family letter. His siblings felt misrepresented, so their comments are included, too. TB

I look outside and see that snow barely covers the iced car tracks on the driveway. Our dining room chandelier is finally bright after weeks of illumination from only three 40W bulbs. What does this have to do with anything in this family this past year? I am not sure, but we have been pretty busy. This is Jacob acting as the Bills family correspondent. Let us begin with events for the whole family. My mom’s notes say that the family is “optimistic and hopeful for the future.” Now I’ll write more in-depth information on the people of this family.

I did this too. JosB

They are not lame, they are not all flash, and I would make them if I could AND keep the money. JosB

Don’t read it. Instead read one of his other blogs such as the Vladstar epic. JosB

Not true. He is dumb. LB

First, let’s have news about the most interesting person—me. I am thirteen and in the eighth grade. The teenage years haven’t been too bad so far. I am now taller than my mom and will soon overtake my dad. Every school day, I walk about 3.75 miles round trip to school. That’s five days a week, four weeks a month, nine months a year through rain, snow, hail or shine—occasionally all at the same time. I competed in a series of creative writing events called Power of the Pen, and I made it all the way to the state tournament. That is one reason I am writing this letter. I had a bad season on the city swim team. I also ran the ½ mile and mile events for my school’s track team, but I never won any races. I hope next year is better. I continue to play the French horn, and I have been selected to be part of the District Middle School Honor Band & Orchestra Festival. I also ghostwrite the Wyrm News for the Mysterious Mythos Wyrm, Lord of New Sweden (www.thewyrmnews.blogspot.com). At scout camp, I think I was youngest person to earn the Lifesaving merit badge. Another thing I did was Summer Stretch a 2-week daily class in which I learned about city planning and built a city in Sim City 3000. My interests are varied right now, and I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up, though I am thinking about politics, diplomacy, linguistics or used cars (just kidding about the last one). I have been learning French and am trying to figure out a way to learn some cool language like Swedish or Russian—or one of the Khoisan click languages. That’s enough about me; it is time to learn about the other people.

Joseph is now twelve and ordained to the office of Deacon. He is in the seventh grade and is taking Algebra II and preparing for the Science Olympiad. He’s addicted to lame Internet flash games, but he won’t design one and then sell it for tons of money that would go of course all to me. He survived scout camp and earned the art merit badge. Joseph wants Nintendo to release Majora’s Mask for the Virtual Console on the Wii. Joseph loves goats. He thinks they are smart, pretty and useful. He thinks horses are worthless pieces of their deposits on the street. I think that sums up Joseph.

It actually was my purse they tried to eat. I think horses are elegant and smart and pretty. LB

Me too, me too! EB

I’m not a hobbit and I don’t have big feet. LB

Lillian is nine and in the fourth grade. She is learning to play the flute at school. She was also on the swim team this summer, and she was involved in the This is Kirtland musical. (I was too, but it was as a replacement for closing night.) Lillian really likes Harry Potter, and she even calls herself Ginny. “Ginny” was a chorus member for the Heights High School production of West Side Story, too. (Don’t ask me why they wanted elementary school kids in a high school production.) She also has been growing; in fact she has big feet, like a hobbit. Lillian doesn’t like goats. She thinks they are stupid, ugly and useless. This is because they tried to eat “her” stroller (it’s actually used by Abby now) at the Portage County Fair.

I love history. I love art, and I love Lord of the Rings. EB

Emma is seven and was home/internet-schooled this year. Her school is much better than mine, as she learned about cool stuff like Vikings this year. She studied Egyptians last spring so we took a field trip to the Field Museum in Chicago to see the mummies. Emma really likes history. She is also taking French at her school. She has been learning to ice skate, and I think she is okay. She still acts horribly in the car—screaming until she gets her way. She won’t let any of us listen to the radio, so I have missed out on NPR news. I have to rely on Yahoo! News and Wikipedia for information. Emma was in This is Kirtland, and even though she had no important role, she did get to do the children’s dance.

Sam will be five in two weeks. He goes to preschool in the afternoon, and sometimes his carpool mom picks me up on the way home from school, too. He was in This Is Kirtland as the cute little boy who stands in the front and waves a handkerchief in his sisters’ faces in the last scene. Sam

I can’t wait until Christmas. SB

says someday he wants to make caramels. But currently he is in an ice-skating class like Emma. He likes to cook, and frequently takes over when it’s my turn to cook. Sam does a lot of workbooks. But usually he complains about not having anything to do, and when you suggest something, he says that he doesn’t want to do that. His nemesis is Joseph.

I don’t make any messes. It’s all Emma, Sam and Lily. JosB

Abby is evil. I’m told it’s just the terrible twos, but sometimes I think she uses her cuteness to get away with murder. For example, she likes to wear underpants but refuses to be potty-trained, and we suffer the consequences. She changes her clothes at least five times a day, and we say it is self-expression. She eats pistachios and scatters the shells on the floor, and we call it composting. She makes more messes than anybody in the house, including Joseph. But I am always the one who cleans it up, since I am the only one who does any work. She acts all innocent when she does something bad, even when it was obviously her fault. Like after Halloween, her candy was all gone, so she snuck in and ate Lily’s candy, too. (It was pretty funny.) Every once in a while, she actually is innocent but she says, “I did it,” out of habit. Abby was not in This Is Kirtland, and she thinks goats are better than horses.

I like goats. AB

Rebecca is getting older. She did the costumes for two plays: This Is Kirtland and Music Man. She didn’t work for H&R Block—just for us. Over Spring Break, she went to Boston with Tom and got to escape us kids for few days. At church, she teaches Relief Society every fourth Sunday and works with the 8-11 year old girls on Tuesday nights. Mom and Dad have also started to abandon their children with me and go to the gym three times every week.

It was great fun tagging along with Tom at the NSTA conference and seeing how he works an exhibit floor. I also enjoyed some time being absolutely alone and exploring the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library and the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. RB

Tom is also older. He finally painted the house this summer after gathering supplies for many years. It is now blue with white trim, not white with blue trim. One of these days, he’ll paint the front door. He was the first counselor in the bishopric until last week when he was called to the Kirtland Stake high council. He played Sidney Rigdon in This Is Kirtland, making him the only person in the family other than me with a speaking part. He ran the Junior Medical Camp for the Cleveland Museum of Natural History again. He took an Environmental Health class.

Jessie is our dog of an unknown age. She spent the past year barking at people, sleeping, eating Abby’s food and going into the front yard even though she isn’t allowed there.

I was anticipating acceptance to a PhD program at Case Western Reserve University and a promotion at work but neither opportunity materialized. TB

Ruff. JesB

Well, that’s about it for the family letter. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Love, The Bills Family

From the editor: The great goat vs. horse debate continues on our family blog, www.billsohio.blogspot.com. You can also reach us for comment by e-mail: billsfamily@gmail.com. TB